BREAKING FREE FROM GUILT, SHAME, UNWORTHINESS, LOW SELF-ESTEEM. inspirational writing from SITAS PERSPECTIVE
Hey Sexy. I am beyond grateful that you are here and reading this article. My name is Sita and my mission is to bring the best out of you, to motivate you, encourage you and shine a light on your unresolved parts, and always to bring you Blessings and positivity.
I felt strongly guided this time to talk about emotional manipulations. It took me a long time to collect courage to face this part of my being. How I define emotional manipulation? For me, this is the dance between two parties being in a codependent relationship, with no self-esteem, zero self-worth and no boundaries. How can this happen? How do you know if you are in an emotionally manipulative relationship? How to break free from this in case the person you are dealing with, you cannot block, for example if you are coparenting? What about if this are your parents? Read all the article to find out. I am sure you will find one or more guidance. So firstly, lets answer the question on how emotional manipulation looks like? Let us keep in mind something else also, you are always on both sides, and you are not a victim.
Example of emotional manipulation.
We have two parties a person A and person B. Person A wants to have something from the person B. Persons A name is Aurora and persons B name is Berta. Aurora asks Bertha simple and innocent question < Berta can you call the hairdresser to make me an appointment, they are always busy? While Aurora was asking Berta to call the hairdresser, she did not consider Berta’s time and Berta’s space, she immediately put pressure on Berta to do this right away, now and at this moment, now. She did not ask please if you can call this person; it was like a command in disguise. Also, Aurora was blaming the hairdresser about being stupid because their line is busy ALL THE TIME. This is immature behavior. So, let us continue. Berta, because of her fear, lack of personal boundaries and lack of confidence, she said yes that she would call to help Aurora. Deep down, she really did not want to make this call, because it was not in her alignment. She was being passive aggressive and said yes, while thinking she did not want to do that. Auroras behavior is controlling and Berta is not liking that energy. Because Berta is a people pleaser, she wanted to please Aurora. She tried two times to call the hairdresser. The line WAS busy. Berta explained in not loving way that the line was busy, and she left the place not explaining to Aurora anything. What happened next? Aurora loses her mind, she starts to put shame, blame, and guilt on Berta. Because Berta did not granted Auroras wish. She continued with the words like: Ow well I KNEW I CAN NEVER count on you, oh Berta you never HAVE TIME. After when Aurora sees that Berta is not buying her words, she starts to play the victim game. She starts to cry to put on a game I am a victim, it is your fault that now I am feeling sad. I am a victim.
What happened here?
Because it was not Auroras way, she used emotional manipulation of putting guilt, shame and blame on Bertha. Emotionally manipulative people feel need to control other people and situations in order to feel their sense of being which is completely unhealthy and sick. We have all been there and in some degree maybe still are. Auroras is feeding her emotional emptiness by putting other people down and by controlling other people’s behavior to please her needs and wants. What happens with Berta? Because she did not establish firm boundaries, she of course starts to feel guilty, she is questioning herself if it is really her fault that Aurora started to cry. She questions, omg did I do enough?, Omg I think I should APPOLOGIZE TO her so she will stop crying. I am guessing in case you are reading this article you relate more to Berta and you are more a people pleaser, “nice person”, having heart for others and more energetically sensitive being. but it does not matter, as I said we are all playing both sides and neither is better than the other. Very important fact!
My personal experience is relating more to Berta in my mind, however recently my light bulb on the top of the head started to explode. It hit me hard. I recently discovered, that I was on the other side also, but I did not want to admit it to myself, that is why I was still spinning the hamster wheel. Hamster Sita! I could not break the cycle of being emotionally manipulated for an exceptionally long time, why? Ladies and gentlemen, I was playing the other side of the coin also, I was manipulating others also. So, you see, you never play one role. There are always two sides, you just see yourself in only one role maybe. Then you struggle to break the cycle. I am talking about very subtle energies, that is hard to tell and hard to admit to yourself that this is also a part of jour being. Mostly I was being without boundaries, letting other people treating me like crap. These other people were stronger to say, but only imaginary, SINCE they were feeding themselves with THOUGHTS that they can control and put down other people to feel worthy. Not judging either one or other side, because we must know, we are both playing both sides of the game.
So, the main question here is how to break free from this pattern? Admitting to yourself firstly that you are both. In this case you understand both sides, and it is impossible to JUDGE IT, because you are both! You are not a victim, or an angel and other people are treating you like crap. It does not work this way. Energy goes both ways!
Why we are not able to put boundaries or have low self-esteem. We were traumatized as children, we were raised in toxic family situations, we are not in touch of how we feel and our emotions, we carry to much guilt, shame, and blame. Dear reader, I am on a healing journey now for an exceptionally long time. I had the guilt of breathing the fresh air and that I do not deserve to breath, this is how strong the guilt was. However, guilt is not allowing you to feel the freedom and love of your timeless being you are. Is teaching you the lesson of who you are and who you are not. You are not a projection of other people’s fears and scars. Intuitive and more sensitive people usually absorb other people’s negativity, and they think is theirs. Well hell no. it is not yours. So, say no thank you, this is not mine and let it go ok. You are a bad bitch!
Why we allow emotional manipulation? We think love and happiness comes from outside of us, we search for confirmation of our own existence from other people, we search for love outside of us. The more you are in tune with yourself, the less you need confirmation and acceptance from other people. It is not such a problem to set a boundary with people you are not close, the hardest thing to do is to set a boundary with people we love and with people we are in contact daily. Ow before moving on I tried to tell you before. You are not a victim is the thing number one and thing number two is also you are invited to accept the possibility that you manipulate others also. Why is that? If you learned the pattern you would not read the article, so your energy is energy of having still this pattern. Why am I telling you this? Because when you admit to yourself all this thing, you do not judge yourself for being manipulative and you do not judge others for manipulate you, you break free, you are free. When you understand and put awareness on the pattern you can see clearly from all the corners on what this is, not only from your corner, but you also from the other persons perspective. You must rise higher as never before. Other people are you, mirroring you, where you need to shine the light. Thank them. Also, take it as a lesson, as a game. Is not too serious, you do not hold resentment, anger, fear. whatever. You just see this pattern of emotional manipulation clear, like the clearest thing on the planet. So, when you sense it, you say to yourself. Ow hello, so this is what you are trying to do to me. Well, hell no. I love myself and I am not allowing this to me no more. It will be beneficial for me, to live a happy fulfilled life and to another person as well, not allowing them to manipulate me anymore. They can think about it and accept my response, or find another victim. Remember their reaction is not your problem. Your response to their behavior is.
What is the common mistake? What I did? And what can you do?
Usually after I gain my power back, feeling good about myself, also being enormously proud and happy about where I am in my life, I went back to the people they hurt me to try if maybe this time they CHANGED and maybe this time will accept me. Damn woman, big mistake. It was again the crash and burn same mistake same episode for a hundred times. No, they did not accept me and yes, I was again sad and feeling lonely. What was my mistake? EXPECTATIONS!!!! EXPECTATIONS ARE THE MOODS KILLERS! ALSO, FROM my part of being I was still feeling resentful about them hurting my feelings and never take responsibility for hurting my feelings. So, the next step here is COMPLETE ACCEPTANCE. This is a life savior. Ok accepting not only yourself but people who hurt you, betrayed you, mistreat you, accept them. With no resentment, no blame no judgements and no expectations. They are as they are. They are a child in a grown-up body, not willing to act like an grown up being. You, not wanting to set the boundary or also you are allowing for the child in the grown-up body to treat you badly means, also that YOU are still a child. But you are reading this article for a reason, because now is the time to step into your full power and potential. Time to grow up!
It is not your fault that you had trauma and that you were born in a toxic family. We all were, and everyone is dealing with the situations as they can. Now is the time for you, for choosing YOU! You cannot change other people, you cannot put expectations on them, you see how hard is just to change a little bit of your bad habits. So dear reader now is time for you! I do not care if you were manipulated if you are manipulating others I do not care. It is over with this. I care about you becoming grown up, and healthy human being and I care about you choosing you! These patterns are highly destructive and mostly we are not aware of them at all. We play the game living in the circle and constantly being in a hamster wheel. It is not easy to break free. But here we are. This is our mission!
I want to put courage in you beautiful being to start living your truth. Start living your authentic self. Discover what you really want emotionally. And see what is this that you will not tolerate any more and stick to it. Admit to yourself that yes you are worthy you are powerful, and your being matters. Your voice matters, your emotions matter, your wishes matters, and your voice matters. Not everyone will agree with you, but it does not matter, you still express and live your unique sense of self and sense of being. You are divine with unlimited potential, unlimited love, and pure awareness, you deserve the best.
You are not alone, we are all dealing with the matrix manipulative system, but it is fine. The sooner we accept this, the better for us. However, know that your voice matters, your being matters and the more we are awake and heal from our own destructiveness, the nicer the planet will be for the next generations. Here LIES the power beyond words, IT IS here NOW. I am limited in this article with English language and typing, however the love IS limitless ok my Divine being. It is not manipulative, is accepting of who you are and acknowledges your emotions and your being. Is beyond, you are beyond, and you can do it. You decided to come here to experience unconditional love, now you have experienced what unconditional love is not. It is time to live and experience the true love. And this true love… be an example and share it with others. True love starts with you, with your self-worth, with looking within. It is not money, it is not job, it is not status, it is not friends, it is not achievements, diplomas, it is not outside, it is within. Embody your being, it is not your emotions , not your mind, not your body, not your prana…. I am not enlightened. So, they say. Let us find out.
BEFORE YOU GIVE TO OTHERS, GIVE TO YOURSELF. EMPTY CUP IS NOT POURING ANY VALUE. FILL YOUR OWN CUP. SEE WHAT IS WORTH FOR YOU. AND DO THAT. THE SPIRIT WILL GUIDE YOU. REMEMBER IS A JOURNET. IF YOU KNEW THE END TODAY IT WILL BE A BORING RIDE. FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS, SCREAM IF YOU WISH, YOU ARE LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE AND YOU DO NOT EVEN KNOW IT HAHAHAHA!
OW ONE MORE thing. When you decide to put a boundary. Do not feel guilt, do not feel blame or shame, and mostly do not explain to that other person your personal stuff. They do not care, and you are losing your energy. They care only how to find people who are in a low vibration to feed thru their energy of low self-esteem and low self-worth to put you down, and to put them up. Well, hell no, not ANY more ok. I do not care if this is your mother, father sister whoever that is, IS not cool. No one taught you that this is cool, so you think is normal. It is not fucking normal ok. It is not. Be strong, brave and stand for yourself, otherwise no one will. You will be mistreated. Those people are driven by fear and moreover they do not know a shit about themselves. So, they are also lying to you and themselves, and you are naïve sucker, and you believe them. They are lying to themselves ok. So be smarter and just ignore, detach, and do your own thing ok. Put the boundaries strong. Fuck it, you are important it is time for you!
I love you guys, from far and beyond, Blessings to you
Sita
DIVINE LOVE JOURNEY 